My Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was going to be an exceptional one. Even outside of the holidays, I enjoy spending time with my children, my mom and my sister. We have a close family.  After 14 years of talking on the phone, the plan was that my father was going to join us for our festivities. He was going to drive from New Jersey and spend this Thanks Giving with me. To most of you this may not sound like a big deal. But to me, this was going to be a monumental.

I only have two memories of my birth father. When I was five, the only thing I remember was his legs and that he and my grandmother gave me a doll that wore a blue pock-a-dotted bikini.  Then several years past, when I was eight he came around a couple of times. He brought over my step brother once, but they didn’t stay very long. That year he did give me a couple of good Christmas gifts.

My father has always had a problem with fallow through. He makes empty promises. To me the promises of money or gifts are different. I never really expected those things from anyone, anyways. This time, he promised he was coming out. The past 14 years he has never promised to visit. I was trying very hard not to get my hopes up that he would actually show up, but I had a glimpse of weakness and I believed him.

 Now I haven’t heard from him in several days. He isn’t answering my texts. My hope is that maybe he will show up at my door tomorrow. But the chances are very slim. I know what’s going to happen. We have done this dance before when he thinks he has disappointed me. In a couple of month I will hear from him again. He will act like nothing happened. No apology no nothing. So what do I do? Do I confront him? Or do I just blow it off, because it is my fault for letting my guard down anyways. I know how he is and know this is what he does and I should know better.

No matter what happens, I am still going to enjoy my thanksgiving with the people who truly love me. And I know that I can always depend on them. I am very thankful to have a wonderful mother, sister and children.